Steampunk fiction, reviews and interviews

Morning Cuppa: Tea Cake Or Death

Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Max and Collin’s perfectly private and exquisitely exclusive parlour located in the splendidly scenic city of Lancaster, Mor Ire.

True, perhaps, some have called it a rat-infested garret in a toppling tenement that is plagued by Lemonade Pushers and liable to topple over at any moment to nobody’s regret, but we consider that such people are merely embittered that they have not yet received an invitation.

You find us on this, seasonably grey and chilly Monday morning, uncharacteristically alert and swooning over our marvellous new teapot courtesy of the utterly ineffable creators at Wild and Violet

tea cake death.png

Yes you read that correctly! Tea Cake Or Death… Max is tattooing it upon my tentacles with a runcible spoon even as I write (the advantage, of course, of having eight limbs and being naturally disposed to multi tasking)

We are just waiting for our brew to steep and this morning we will be enjoying the fantastically festive flavours of Raise The Dead by Friday Teas We can’t speak for the dead but the aroma alone has raised these two Hullians out of our usual early morning stupor. The scarlet cranberries like drops of blood make this tea the perfectly ghoulish accompaniment to our book this morning


Written well before Bram Stoker’s Dracula, it is one of the first literary versions of the Vampire myth – apt reading for the build up to Halloween, or Samhain, not that we celebrate either here in The New World but, there you have it, a Tea Fiend needs no excuse to indulge in a little macabre romanticism …

Ah, and now Max informs me our tea is ready and my tattoo is finished which means there is nothing left to do except consult our Oracular Cephalopterois (always being careful to avoid its bloodthirsty fangs and venomous tentacles of course, neither Max nor myself wish to be turned into brain-munching un-dead zombie squid. Not this morning at any rate, we have not yet had any cake.)

So, before we languish back upon our silk-covered lemonade crates, let us stir the cup and see what our far-seeing vampiric hybrid has for us this morning…


Well as usual we’ve got no idea what part of the aether our little pet has pulled that random piece of innovation from, still, hopefully it will prove interesting to some of you out there.

As for myself and Max there is nothing left to say except ‘chin chin, pass the tin, open the book and let’s begin…’

We wish you a very delicious morning full of beautiful and black delights, perhaps, like this tea, with the odd dash of crimson, and we invite you to join us tomorrow for elevenses so, until then,

Be always, Utterly Yourself.

If you have a splendid book or exciting project you would like us to feature with our ‘morning cuppa’ please send us the details to 

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