Steampunk fiction, reviews and interviews

Tea @ Three: All punked up with no place to go?

Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Max and Collin’s perfectly punktastic parlour located in the splendidly scenic city of Lancaster, Mor Ire.

True, perhaps, some have called it a rotting refuge filled with remorseless rogues, but we consider that such people are merely embittered that they have not yet received an invitation.

You find us, as is usual for a Thursday afternoon, All Punked UP With No Place To Go so without further ado, let us kick our tentacles up on the table and peruse the society papers and see where we ought to be heading to this weekend…



Steampunk Surgical Spirit is taking place at Thackray Medical Museum, Beckett Street, Leeds this saturday and sunday. Full can be found on the website.

And looking further ahead – always wise where tickets have to be booked – The Victorian Steampunk Society are organising a very special New Year event, visit their event website for full details:

Ah but we have not forgotten that it is the very first of the month and so we must open our sacred book of tea and perform our tea ritual for December…

“December was gifted to us by The Powers That Tea, so that we might have a month in which it is perfectly acceptable to combine alcohol and tea. In December we stoke our inner flame with the warming spices of masala chai and remember that our actions in the world can bring this warmth and comfort to others.

The Sacred Tea for December is Masala Chai.

Optional Ceremonial Garb: The Festive Tea Socks

The Scared Ritual for the first of December is as follows:

The Chant:


Oh tree of tea, oh tree of tea

How sacred art thy leaves to me

Oh tree of tea, oh tree of tea

Thy blessed blossoms should be free


Yes free to all, not hoarded up

To fill some greedy guzzler’s cup

Oh tree of tea, oh tree of tea

Divine gift to humanity.



The Oath:


I solemnly swear to accept the gift of the month of December as a month for spreading comfort, warmth and sustenance to those around me. I will honour the Powers That Tea by drinking Masala Chai with respect and acknowledging that these delicious spices are a divine gift to all, not to be hoarded or monopolized by one group of greedy guzzlers. As a mark of this vow I will wear my Festive Tea Socks every day during the month of December. I solemnly swear that I am up to a lot of good… although it may not seem like it at the time.”


We wish you a delightfully fun filled weekend wherever your tentacles take you and hope you will join us back in the parlour on monday for some more wizmas madness. So, until then, please be always,

Utterly yourself


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