Pipe and slippers: The ghost is packing…

Good evening and welcome to my awe-inspiring aethenaeum of  praiseworthy pamphlets…or as some ridiculous personages have dubbed it – my lovely library.

am Perilous Wight and here in the bowels of the city of Lancaster, in the disused tunnels of an underground train system that never was, I have made it my mission to collect every book that our self-proclaimed ‘supreme ruler f the universe’ and his mincing minions have banned from the bookshelves of the new world.

But I do not have time for entertaining tonight, can you not see I am in the middle of packing my bags? Wizmas has never appealed to my tastes as a holiday – I plan instead to make a certain journey and, if I am successful, I will return in a few weeks and share my adventures with you… if I am in the mood that is…

I have given leave for Mrs Baker and her lot to use the Library in my absence and I hear she is going to be giving readings from The Child Gospels which I suppose you might enjoy listening to…

But now I must bid you good night, out with you now come on come on I am a very busy man, er, ghost…what? Sing you a carol? Not on your nelly! Be off with you!