Steampunk fiction, reviews and interviews

Frost Fair: My Fair Temperance

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“Oh my Goodness, please be careful Miss Plumtartt! The ice on this here frozen Lancastrian river is as hard as marble and slicker than silk sheets. It’ll drop you on your bustle quicker than a steam whistle.”

“Quite so, Mr. Temperance, though if the river were not frozen over, we would not be  present at this delightful Frost Fair. I had no idea Lancaster produced such a wide variety of wonderful crafts and delicious treats. One notices that you have no inhibitions toward satiating your indulgences concerning sickly sweets, eh hem?”

“But I was assured that these treacle tooth-breakers are the last ones mined from these hills in thirty years!”

“I see. And did these treacle miners deplete your own allowance reserves?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“It is just as well, sir, for I now have our own kiosk, cum stall, a’la merchant’s stand in place.”

“But I wanted to walk around with the books displayed on a board resting on my tummy and hanging from a strap around my neck!”

“No, we are going to cooperate with Miss Blake and sell our wares from behind this small table surrounded by colourful bunting. Did you really all eat the treats that I had prepared to entice prospective customers?”

“Uhb.”

“Never mind, I want you to remain here in the hopes that someone may wish to inspect one of your written adventures. The novels might require some explanation.”

“These books are of high adventure Miss Plumtartt! I can’t help it if they sometimes come across as whimsical!”

“Of course not, Mr. Temperance, and I’m sure your sprinkling of mild innuendo through these tales is completely accidental.”

“I reckon it would have to be, ’cause I don’t even know what that is.”

“Perhaps you could inform any potential readers that you have saved this, our blessed planet, from a number of global, paranormal threats in these themed adventures?”

“Oh, yes, Ma’am, Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am! There was the time that C’thuller tried to eat us all up, and then there was the time we had to beat back a Martian invasion. We’ve had run-ins with broods of Nosferaters, VooDoo zombies, and the mighty Zodgila. I’ve gotten to be pals with Sherlock Holmes, King Arthur, and even some gigantic dragons.”

“One must admit that these are an intriguing, and colourful collection of novels. Here is the link to your international Amazon page:

https://www.amazon.com/Ichabod-Temperance/e/B00J71862M/

“My word, the treacle appears to have solidified to solid mass within Mr. Temperance’s mouth, locking his jaws. Might One say, on Ichabod’s behalf, what a delight it has been to visit lovely Lancaster on the frozen river Lune. Our very best to Penny, Max, Colin, and everyone else in this charming shire. Toodle-loo!”

2 responses

  1. Oh my Goodness!
    Thank you for allowing us to participate, Penny.
    Happy Trails!

    Liked by 1 person

    January 23, 2019 at 7:35 pm

    • smithandskarry1

      Always a pleasure Icky 🙂

      Like

      January 25, 2019 at 9:45 am

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