#FridayFilk: Banned From Hogwarts
What the hell, it’s cold outside, the days are dark here so I thought I’d bring back the old Friday Filk posts for a while – a series of silly songs perfect for getting you kicked out of your local pub, library, place of worship or geography lesson. Mostly old stuff, just for a laugh, but maybe some new things will raise their heads as well, let’s see.
Not sure what Filk is? Well, thanks to a typo in a magazine waaaaaayyyyyy back, ‘Filk Music’ is the folk music of the geek community. Legend has it that it started at a con with WGGL (We’re Going to Get Lynched for doing this!) and now has spread world wide. There are many respected Filk artists from Leslie Fish and Heather Alexander to Not Literally and Random Encounters.
You know Leslie Fish’s Banned From Argo? Of course you do. If you don’t, it’s here:
So, here’s my HP version 😉
Banned from Hogwarts
When we pulled into Hogsmead station on the red express
Bushy tailed and bright eyed in our robes dressed to impress
We had high expectations of the things we would achieve
But poor Hogwarts was not prepared for wizards such as we
But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one
Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun
We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore
But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore
We are the Weasley twins there is no trick that we won’t try
To make filch pull his hair out or to make old Umbridge cry
Our skiving snacks, of which we’re proud, are famed throughout the school
And with our fireworks as well we’ve flouted every rule
But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one
Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun
We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore
But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore
We’ve fought snakes, spiders, trolls, dragons and we think we’re pretty cool
There’s not a rule together we’ve not broken in this school
We crashed a flying car into an ancient willow tree
And there’s no point in doing homework coz we’ve got Hermione
But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one
Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun
We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore
But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore
I really cannot see that I have done anything wrong
Alright I served the dark lord, but it wasn’t for that long
I may have let a few death eaters in through a secret door
And set a few classrooms ablaze and threatened Dumbledore
But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one
Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun
We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore
But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore
I really didn’t think that it would end this way it’s true
I think the trouble all began the day I started SPEW
And then I formed a secret army to defeat the ministry
Now I’m on the run stuck in a tent with Ron and Harry
But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one
Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun
We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore
But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore
It’s Remus’ fault if he’d not been a werewolf we would not
Have become animagi all and added to this plot
Although we always would have made Snape’s life a misery
And showed the world his underpants so James could have Lilly
But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one
Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun
We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore
But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore
My name is Tom but I prefer The Dark Lord, that’s more cool
You amateurs can’t match the things that I’ve done in this school
Killed mudbloods with a basilisk, let it out through a porthole
And murdered to make horcruxes and become immortal
But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one
Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun
We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore
But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore
I would never join a club that would accept ME for a member.
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 18, 2019 at 1:34 pm
Amen, Marx, lol! XD
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 18, 2019 at 1:54 pm