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#FridayFilk: Lemony Snicket – Volunteers vs Villains

What the hell, it’s cold outside, the days are dark here so I thought I’d bring back the old Friday Filk posts for a while – a series of silly songs perfect for getting you kicked out of your local pub, library, place of worship or geography lesson. Mostly old stuff, just for a laugh, but maybe some new things will raise their heads as well, let’s see.

Not sure what Filk is? Well, thanks to a typo in a magazine waaaaaayyyyyy back, ‘Filk Music’ is the folk music of the geek community. It started at a con with WGGL (We’re Going to Get Lynched for doing this!) and now has spread world wide. There are many respected Filk artists from Leslie Fish and Heather Alexander to Not Literally and Random Encounters.

Well I was planning to share with you my Harry Potter’s Alphabet Aerobics (fan’s of Blackalicious know what I’m talking about here!) But – HORROR!! – I’ve lost it! It’s buried on an old hard drive somewhere and although I will definitely be digging it out asap for now I’m sorry to say, it is lost.)

So I’m going to give you a Lemony Snicket / Series Of Unfortunate Events filk instead and it’s a super-fun one because it requires at least two people (although preferably two groups of people) to really make it work (and, unlike some songs,  the more drunk or over excited you are the better it seems to be!)

If you haven’t read the books, seen the film or watched the series then the basic plot is that there was once a noble organisation of friends who tried to fight fires together both literal and figurative. One day a terrible event caused a schism in the group and they split into Villains – who try to fight fire with fire – and Volunteers – who try to keep the world as quiet as a library. Of course throughout the 13 books the notions of volunteer and villain are deeply questioned as are many other things which makes it, in my opinion, a fabulous remedy to other children’s series where good/ evil, hero/ villain are over simplified and unrealistic.

First decide who will be the villains and who will be the volunteers (no squabbling please). Then the villains sing their first verse and then, as the villains are singing their chorus, the volunteers begin their verse.

Everyone continues singing verse after chorus after verse in a round getting louder and louder, pounding tables and pint glasses and trying to drown each other out until, at last, one group gives in or you all collapse in a hysterical heap on the floor.



Verse and chorus for the villains:


Set another library blazing, watch the volunteers all sigh

Nothing they can do to stop us, as the flames climb to the sky

Let your laughter ring triumphant, every villain raise the cry

That “We fight fire with fire!”



Strike a match and start a new blaze

Watch what’s ‘in’ and join the next craze

Volunteers will stare in great amaze

As we fight fire with fire!


Verse and chorus for the volunteers:


There’s another library blazing, there’s so much we have to do

Grab your notebook and your glasses, solve the puzzle find the clue

Keep the last safe places sacred, let our motto still be true

That “the world is quiet here”



Noble motives lead to noble deeds

Always trust a man who says he reads

Meet your comrades in the libraries

The world is quiet here. 


2 responses

  1. Love this filk and what fun to see filkers I’ve met and heard in person mentioned in the post. Leslie Fish and Heather Alexander are wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

    October 25, 2019 at 1:41 pm

    • smithandskarry1

      Thankyou! I’m really glad you liked it 🙂 Two of my fave artists right there – never met them in person so JEALOUS!!! LOL but Mrs Baker did have the pleasure of Alec’s company in her soup kitchen once which was AWESOME! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      October 26, 2019 at 5:41 pm

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