Steampunk fiction, reviews and interviews

Friday Filk

Friday Filk: Harry Potter’s Alphabet Aerobics! (I found it at last!!!)

HAPPY FRIIIIIIIDAYYYYYY! I’m a bit excited (can you tell? XD ) I was thumbing through an old dropbox account I’d totally forgotten I had aaaaand – kapow! – I found the Harry Potter version of Blackalicious’ incredibly amazing Alphabet Aerobics! 😀 So although strictly speaking I was only doing the Friday Filk posts through December I couldn’t resist squeezing this one in 😀

If you don’t know the original (shame on you! XD 😉 xxx ) you can find it here:

 

But it was seeing Daniel Radcliffe do it in this next clip that made me think, tsk, he should have done a Harry Potter version… so I wrote one, just for larks XD

 

So with merry peels of wicked naughty laughter, here’s my HP version… XD

“Harry Potter’s Alphabet Aerobics”
(Alright then everybody, listen up! Welcome to the room of requirement, now it’s time for our warm up
Let’s give it everything we’ve got
Ready? Begin)

Azkaban escape artists, aren’t all animagi
Auras ought to Aquire an Axminster to fly by

Bertie Botts Beans behave bombastically believe
My bludger beaten butter beer bashed brain I don’t deceive
Chasing chambers chocolate frogs n cleansweeps cause calamities
Centaurs can’t cope with comets, causing catastrophies

Divination dunces done dealin with dementors
Deletritate the Dark Lord’s devious defenders

Ever ready with expelliarmus to evade
Any extra expiration eaters to erase

Frightful fire drakes within the forest forbidden
Feedin flubberworms, consider flirebolts ridden

Goblins guarding galleons in Gringots vaults are grim
Go Go Gryffindors and grab the golden snitch to win

Hangin with Hermione at honey dukes down in Hogsmead
With Hagrid and his Hippogriff at Hogwarts then its home for tea

I spell impervious, imperious, incendio,
Impedimenta, imperturbable, incantato

Jellylegs in jest can be a jolly good jape
But jumbling your jinxes is a big mistake

Keepin’ with my crew I am a Quidditch sensation
Or kickin’ back with Kingsley down at Kings Cross station

Leviosa, lumos, elementary I learned the lot
With professor lupin and his loopy lupine lycanthrope

Mudbluds live in mortal fear of Morsmordre the mark is dark
And murdered muggles will appear if the ministry can’t stop this lark

We never nag Nagini never let a gnargle niggle us
Like Nigelus or A nimbus, two thousand when it’s nicked from us

Owls dropping orders from the ministry
It’s plain to see, that Olivander’s out of it and only we can set him free

Padfoot please at platform nine and three quarters be there on time
I’ll pronounce in parcel tongue and postulate what’s to be done

Queerly catching quaffles in a quidditch match game
Quickly Quote the quibbler mutter ‘quietus’ when they claim that you’re insane

Spell reducio, Ridikuulus, relashio,
Rikktusempra, Renervate, Repello, Reducto

Severus and Scabbers have scars they’d rather hide
But Scrimgeour and the secret seven wear their scars with pride

Toyohashi Tengu, Thundelarra Thunderers,
Tarapoto Tree Skimmers, Tchamba Charmers

Can you unfogg the future make a vow that is unbreakable
Curse Umbridge unforgivably make Uric unmistakable

Veritaserum is verily reviled
By volunteers Lord Voldemort has beguiled

When you want to wreak havoc or skive off sick
Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes will do the trick

Xenophilius is exemplary at anti-xenophobia
except when executioners are threatening his daughter

Will you go with Yaxley to the Yule Ball?
You know who will be there and he’ll shock them all.

Zod off with a sack of Zonko’s tricks trailing a zombie
Or just relax and catch some zees with Zaire, Zeller, Zipes, Zamojski, Zograf and Zambini

Phew – I’m Zonked.

Ok everyone that wasn’t too bad, now let me hear you sing it when faced with a dementor…


Festive Friday Filk: Dr Who Regeneration Carol

HAPPY FRIDAY! Yikes, sorry I fell off the Friday Filk wagon the last two weeks – having realised that the majority of my filk lyrics are on Handles (If you’ve been with me long enough you’ll know that Handles is the name of my old laptop who died and regenerated so very many times before he finally gave up the ghost, taking with him many of my files) XD

But it’s festivish time and so I have decided instead to share some of the tons of festive filk that is out there to bring some quirky cheer the the tinselly season! 😀

 

 

 


#FridayFilk: Banned From Hogwarts

What the hell, it’s cold outside, the days are dark here so I thought I’d bring back the old Friday Filk posts for a while – a series of silly songs perfect for getting you kicked out of your local pub, library, place of worship or geography lesson. Mostly old stuff, just for a laugh, but maybe some new things will raise their heads as well, let’s see.

Not sure what Filk is? Well, thanks to a typo in a magazine waaaaaayyyyyy back, ‘Filk Music’ is the folk music of the geek community. Legend has it that it started at a con with WGGL (We’re Going to Get Lynched for doing this!) and now has spread world wide. There are many respected Filk artists from Leslie Fish and Heather Alexander to Not Literally and Random Encounters.

 

You know Leslie Fish’s Banned From Argo? Of course you do. If you don’t, it’s here:

 

So, here’s my HP version 😉

 

Banned from Hogwarts

 

When we pulled into Hogsmead station on the red express 

Bushy tailed and bright eyed in our robes dressed to impress

We had high expectations of the things we would achieve

But poor Hogwarts was not prepared for wizards such as we 

 

But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one 

Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun 

We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore 

But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore 

 

We are the Weasley twins there is no trick that we won’t try

To make filch pull his hair out or to make old Umbridge cry

Our skiving snacks, of which we’re proud, are famed throughout the school

And with our fireworks as well we’ve flouted every rule 

 

But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one 

Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun 

We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore 

But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore 

 

We’ve fought snakes, spiders, trolls, dragons and we think we’re pretty cool

There’s not a rule together we’ve not broken in this school

We crashed a flying car into an ancient willow tree

And there’s no point in doing homework coz we’ve got Hermione

 

But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one 

Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun 

We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore 

But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore 

 

I really cannot see that I have done anything wrong

Alright I served the dark lord, but it wasn’t for that long

I may have let a few death eaters in through a secret door

And set a few classrooms ablaze and threatened Dumbledore

 

But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one 

Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun 

We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore 

But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore 

I really didn’t think that it would end this way it’s true 

I think the trouble all began the day I started SPEW 

And then I formed a secret army to defeat the ministry

Now I’m on the run stuck in a tent with Ron and Harry 

 

But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one 

Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun 

We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore 

But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore 

 

It’s Remus’ fault if he’d not been a werewolf we would not

Have become animagi all and added to this plot

Although we always would have made Snape’s life a misery

And showed the world his underpants so James could have Lilly 

 

But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one 

Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun 

We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore 

But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore 

 

My name is Tom but I prefer The Dark Lord, that’s more cool

You amateurs can’t match the things that I’ve done in this school

Killed mudbloods with a basilisk, let it out through a porthole

And murdered to make horcruxes and become immortal 

 

But now we’re banned from Hogwarts every one 

Banned from Hogwarts just for having a little fun 

We did our best to fit in there and please old Dumbledore 

But Hogwarts doesn’t want us anymore 

 

 

 


#FridayFilk : A Wizard’s Bread And Butter

What the hell, it’s cold outside, the days are dark here so I thought I’d bring back the old Friday Filk posts for a while – a series of silly songs perfect for getting you kicked out of your local pub, library, place of worship or geography lesson. Mostly old stuff, just for a laugh, but maybe some new things will raise their heads as well, let’s see.

Not sure what Filk is? Well, thanks to a typo in a magazine waaaaaayyyyyy back, ‘Filk Music’ is the folk music of the geek community. It started at a con with WGGL (We’re Going to Get Lynched for doing this!) and now has spread world wide. There are many respected Filk artists from Leslie Fish and Heather Alexander to Not Literally and Random Encounters.

October is the month for witch and wizardry for sure so here’s a Harry Potter song for you (you can sing it to the tune of ‘My Old Man’s A Dustman’ or you can make up your own tune UTY 😀 )

 

A WIZARD’S BREAD AND BUTTER:

 

Oh there’s nothing wrong with Lumos

If you need a bit of light

But Lumos just won’t cut it

If you’re looking for a fight

 

Oh there’s nothing wrong with Bat Bogies

If you’re squabbling at school

But you’ll look pretty infantile

If you try it in a duel

 

Oh there’s nothing wrong with a disarm spell

If it’s a duel you’ve found

But a disarm spell won’t serve you well

When there’s Death Eaters around

 

Oh there’s nothing wrong with Confringo

It will blow them all away

But Confringo will have to go

When the Dark lord comes to play

 

Oh there’s nothing wrong with all these spells

But when these spells won’t do…

Just try ‘AVADA KEDAVRA!’ 

It’s the spell to get you through!