Good morning ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Max and Collin,s marvellously moderate and audaciously ambient parlour located within the splendidly scenic city of Lancaster.
True, some have called it a gratuitously garish affair overflowing with an excruciating excess of extremities, but we consider that such faint hearted fops are not accustomed to folk with tentacles.
You find us this morning revelling in the joys of spring – one hardly minds a sack cloth roof or even pane-less windows when the clotted cream of early morning light is flooding into the parlour, making the dust bunnies dance with delight and warming the faded velvet cushions upon the lemonade crates..
Hm? No I am not trying to be poetic , Max, I am simply rebelling in the joys of spring.
Spring in the realm above waves is quite the event isn’t it? There are flowers and leaves peeking through the brown earth, the little street urchins are doing far more skipping than shivering, fewer of our neighbours are dropping dead of cold and starvation and the longer days and shorter nights mean less time battling the flesh eating Liver Birds.
Yes indeed, I feel this ‘coming of spring’ malarkey is certainly something to celebrate and what better to celebrate anything than with a cup of tea and a good book? And of course we have both..
Our tea this morning is Jasmine White Tea from Rosy Lea Teas and to accompany it we will be reading
This riotous Steampunk romp had us in stitches from start to finish. Ichabod Temperance (an American Inventor who is really far too moral and forthright to ever find Victorian London a ‘welcoming place’ ) is plunged headlong into apocalyptic paranormal pandemonium as he attempts to rescue the alluring adventuress Miss Persephone Plumtartt from the demonic tentacles of both men and monsters (at times it is hard to tell which are which!)
This laugh-a-minute roller coaster is jam packed with action from haunted mansions to epic steamer chases, bare knuckle brawls to daring hot air balloon escapes (not forgetting the champagne of course!) The fast paced plot had us pinned to our seats while the comedic interplay of the characters kept the tears of laughter flowing.
‘Icky’ is a delightfully innocent and upstanding character, always ready to defend Miss Plumtartt or put his incredibly inventive brain to the task of helping her to save the world, while Persephone is everything a steampunk heroine ought to be – intelligent, capable, and (thanks to an occult experiment gone wrong) able to fire energy rays from the palms of her hands. Together they make an adorable team and we really can’t wait to get our tentacles into the rest of the series.
Now then, it seems that our tea is brewed and we just have time to put our oracular pet into his cup and see what he has plucked from the aether for us this morning…
Ha! Jolly good fun all round. We wish you a perfectly pleasant morning, full of sunlit strolls and gentle breezes and we invite you back to join us tomorrow for elevenses so, until then please be always
Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Max and Collin’s sleek and sophisticated parlour located in the splendidly scenic city of Lancaster, Mor Ire.
True, perhaps, some have called it a festering featherbed of fiendish flights of fancy filled with remorselessly ravenous rouges, but we consider that such people are merely embittered that they have not yet received an invitation.
You find us on this mild and mellow Monday morning still in the thick of celebrating Poevember and, to that end, we have compiled a list of our absolute favouritest Poe quotes and we have turned them into a fabulous parlour game.
We are calling it ‘Poe Quo’ and, if you would like to use it at your own tea parties, the rules are simple;
Give each guest a piece of fruit as they arrive (we are using cucumbers but you could easily substitute plums, melons or indeed anything you have to hand) and write half a Poe quote on each one with permanent ink. You can use the list we’ve put together below if you like. Each guest should conceal their fruit somewhere about their person and only reveal it when they are asked politely by another along the lines of ‘Excuse me, may I see your cucumber?’ (or plums, melons, juicy pear… whatever fruit you happen to be using). The aim of the game is to find the guest who has the other half of your Poe Quote but hopefully some bizarre or humorous combinations will arise as well. Set a time limit and swap the best combos at the end.
Here is our list of Poe favourites, feel free to share your own quotes or funny combinations in the comments section ….
Years of love have been forgot in the hatred of a minute
They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who only dream by night
The scariest monsters are those which dwell within our souls
There is no beauty without some strangeness
I am a writer, therefore I am not sane
From childhood’s hour I have not been as others were I have not seen as others saw
This story is told through the eyes of a madman who, like all of us, believed that he was sane
I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity
Men have called me mad but the question is not settled whether madness is or not the loftiest of intelligence
Our hearts are monsters, that is why our ribs are cages
No one should brave the underworld alone
I do not suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it
I have great faith in fools, my friends call it self confidence
Sometimes I am afraid of my own heart, of its constant hunger for the things it wants
Excellent fun! But now we are going to sit back and enjoy our Morning Cuppa with another marvellous tale from The Master. Our tea this morning is a rceomendation from the lovely Tea Sisters who do a gorgeous array of tea and book pairings – do stop by their little Youtube Parlour and see what other splendid things they have brewing…
Marvellous! But before we kick our tentacles up on the table and tune our Tesla Spirit Radio to receive our story this morning there is just time to consult our Oracular Cephalopterois and see what dark delights it has plucked from the aether for us this morning…
Beautiful stuff! Ah, but now I think our tea is ready and the radio is crackling so there is nothing left for us to say except ‘chin chin’, we hope you have a Poefect morning and we invite you back to join us for elevenses tomorrow so, until then
Be always, utterly yourself.